ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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