You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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