They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
