I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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