I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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