I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
