you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize