all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
