we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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