I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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