remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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