he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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