One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You are a genius and a whore.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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