first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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