I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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