.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize