Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
