I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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