Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
