Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
