I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
