My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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