my being single is dangerous.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize