drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
