We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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