My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
