it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
