R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
