I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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