I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
