Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize