Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
