Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
