Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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