Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
