Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
