why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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