u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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