i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
