i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You smell like stripper and shame
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
