How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
