Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize