shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is Oprah even human
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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