just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
