I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
