Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize