if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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