Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
