so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
