You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
