So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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