So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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