I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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