I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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