Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
