That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize