Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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