I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just puked most of my soul out..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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