It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
