I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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