I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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