Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dear god my vagina.
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