remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
