I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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