who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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