When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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