I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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