ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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