We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
