i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we made out on top of his cat.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
