Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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