Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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