We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
