are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Even my vagina gasped.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
