I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
