"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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