dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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