butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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