I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
